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“Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.”– John Allen Paulos, professor of mathematics, Temple University

Change is inevitable.

Sometimes, we initiate it, with intention and agency. Often, however, it is foist upon us by circumstances beyond our control. And with that sort of change comes the unknown. What lies at the end of this new road? What will tomorrow bring? Our minds race to fill in the gaps with something we can grab hold of. It can feel like stepping off a precipice, not knowing if or where your foot will land next.

You may be feeling anxious just reading those words. That’s because uncertainty is anathema to human beings. We, who want to plan, organize, prepare, and—most of all—control. We feel destabilized when the universe throws us a curveball. And our first impulses are not always the most helpful. Do we try to fight the change? Or ignore it and pretend it won’t happen? Do we attempt to game out every possible outcome, perhaps focusing on the worst-case scenarios as a way to “prepare”? Or maybe we self-soothe to counter the discomfort, but choose unhealthy behaviors to distract us?

Navigating change and the uncertainty it brings can be difficult and frightening. There is good news, though: We don’t have to do it alone. And there are things you can do – tangible, tried-and-true ways of processing such times in life that will keep you balanced, resilient, and more confident when you move into uncharted territory.

Don’t resist

It’s helpful to begin processing a change by acknowledging how you feel about it. Are you anxious, worried, confused, angry? There are no wrong answers – only inauthentic ones. In other words, be honest with yourself. Try writing things down or talking about them with someone you trust. This may help solidify and validate them for you. The change is real; so are your feelings. Don’t deny the existence of either.

Fighting unavoidable change is useless. It will only tap your energy reserves and create greater distress. Instead, learn to accept the new reality so that you can adapt to it. Bruce Lee often spoke of the “stiffest tree,” which cracked when struck by the unrelenting force of the wind. It is the flexible reed grass, bending and bowing in the gale, that knows how to weather the storm and survive. When we practice acceptance and acknowledge what we cannot control, we begin to see more clearly what we can.

Focus on what you can control

Now, lean into the things that are within your control, whatever they may be. Perhaps these are related to the change; small things you can prepare and lean in. But more likely, they are the other parts of your life over which you have some agency. Plan your meals, follow your exercise routine, schedule your time and activity in ways that are consistent and dependable.

There are so many things over which we have no influence. A change in health, the loss of a job, the actions of corporations and governments. All these things impact us, yet as individuals, we are powerless to control them. We can, however, determine how we respond to them. And we can control the other parts of our lives to foster a sense of stability and structure.

Don’t believe everything you think

In uncertain times, it’s important not to assume the worst-case scenario is inevitable. We may tell ourselves that we’re merely preparing ourselves emotionally for whatever transpires. But this tendency is nothing more than a self-defeating source of unnecessary anxiety.

When we don’t know what to expect, our brains can trick us into thinking that fears and feelings are facts. We grieve for what we haven’t truly lost and react to things that haven’t yet happened. This negativity bias can create a self-fulfilling prophecy. If we expect the worst, we get tunnel vision and may miss the options and opportunities that are right in front of us. Rather than pre-limiting your destiny, remember that every unknown future is a Schrödinger’s cat, and all possibilities are on the table until proven otherwise.

Use past successes as your guide

It’s true that every situation is at least a little bit different. However, most of the challenges we face bear some similarity to a previous experience. And the greatest, most powerful thing they have in common is you. You have faced obstacles and breached the unknown before, and you came out on the other side. While exactly what you are confronting today may be an unknown, your past successes are a matter of fact. They are immutable touchstones from which you can learn.

Reflect on how you’ve previously navigated uncertain times over the years. What did you do that was helpful then? What would you like to do differently this time? There are always lessons to be gleaned from our experiences. But the biggest one may just be that fact that you successfully rose to and surmounted your challenge. You have a track record. You have skills and abilities, and a depth of resilience and a strength of mind that you may not even be aware of. You can’t deny it, because there is proof. Hold fast to that bit of self-awareness and let it reinforce your confidence to do what you’ve always done before.

Try to stay in the present

Having noted the importance of recalling your former successes, it is equally vital to avoid hanging around in bygone days for too long. I have spent an inordinate amount of time in my life doing what I call “time travelling.” I’ll find my mind is not rooted in the here-and-now but rather ruminating over the past or dreading the future. And this tendency can really burst into overdrive when I’m dealing with an unknown.

But fixating on yesterday’s “failures” is as self-defeating as it is reductive. It serves no purpose but to make one fret. And attempting to predict tomorrow’s defeats is equally pointless, not to mention literally impossible (see the Schrödinger’s cat reference above). All that exists is now and you can only do your best with what you have today.

So, draw yourself out of your head and be present in the time and place around you. Relaxation, mindfulness, or getting outside to enjoy nature are all excellent ways to ground yourself in what is real. Focus on your breathing and cultivate a sense of calm. It will center you and re-energize you for whatever lies ahead.

Engage in healthy comforts

And speaking of staying energized…

It often seems like the times we most need to rely on the simple joys in life are exactly when we allow those healthy pleasures to fall by the wayside.

Don’t let stress derail your physical routines. Make an effort to eat well, exercise, and get plenty of sleep. Mind and body are two sides of the same coin, and you cannot neglect one without it impacting the other.

Also, nurture yourself. Be kind to yourself. Even spoil yourself in times of stress. At first, you may feel like it’s almost inappropriate to enjoy your life while the 800lb gorilla of uncertainty is knocking at your door. But self-care isn’t a mere lark. You need it to recharge your battery. So, continue to do what you love so that you may preserve your balance, maintain your perspective, and fortify your mood.

Seek support

Finally, and most importantly, none of us must go through times of change and uncertainty alone.

Many people isolate themselves when they feel anxious, sad, or worried. But humans are social beings and require support from one another to stay healthy and happy. So, reach out to your family and your friends. Let them know how you’re feeling and talk through your thoughts and concerns. Also, consider speaking with your doctor or a mental health professional. They have insights and tools you may have never considered.

The Greek philosopher Heraclitus said, “Change is the only constant in life.” That being true, we are best served by accepting it and learning how to incorporate whatever it brings into our lives in the smartest, healthiest way we can. We may not know what the future holds, but if we know ourselves and our needs, we can have the confidence to face and adapt to anything.  

Additional resources:

How to deal with change and uncertainty, The National Health Service—UK

How to deal with uncertainty: 8 ways to cope in uncertain times, Calm.com

10 tips for dealing with the stress of uncertainty, American Psychological Association